How to Take Off 20 Pounds With Your Outfit

The Man I Married (also known in some circles as The Pool Boy) decided to change the living room around while I was sleeping in. This because the place where he sits on the couch to read and watch TV has recessed over the years causing issues with his back.

Ever one to solve a problem, he got industrious this morning and endeavoured to move a back friendly chair into our prime TV watching spot, thus turning my universe upside down. Why? Because he changed the couch placement without consulting with me first. On more levels than I can explain this is not a good thing for me because:

1. I do not care for change.
2. I am now situated in a new seat and it isn't working for me.

I feel too low to the ground. My computer sits haphazardly on my lap. And don't even get me started on butt indentation because with the way he placed the couch I am now on the recessed spot that his butt caved in over the years - and my butt isn't happy about this.

By now you're probably thinking "What does this have to do with The Menopause?" and to that, I would like to respond "Everything."

Men should Pause before they take any kind of radical household action.

Take a moment to discuss while I get through this hot flash.

All that said, it occurs to me that I'm becoming set in my ways - which is way too early! People shouldn't even begin to get set in their ways until they're at least 85; and even then, I'm not so sure it's a good idea because resistance to change is a sure fire way to eliminate adventure from your life - and without adventure, where would the fun be?

And I'm not even talking about the big adventures like back packing across Europe or jumping out of a plane - no. I'm talking about the little everyday adventures we can still strive to have - like keeping updated on our hair styles, and not getting stuck in fashion ruts - a hole I have found myself sinking into on more than one occasion.

You know the drill. You're a certain, age or a certain weight. You don't fit into the same kinds of clothes you used to, and the florescent lighting in the change rooms at most retail outlets is enough to send you down the chip and dip aisle in fits of silent desperation.

Or, you've become set in your ways and cling stubbornly to the ghost of fashion past either by wearing ill fitting clothing, outfits that are too young - or worse, fashion that dates you or isn't flattering.

Now before you get irate at me, yelling "TOWANDA! Women are beautiful in many different packages - what about beauty from the inside out lady?" please know I agree with you. But I also think that when we get stuck in ruts - like the one I was in when I started this blog - we might not be feeling as marvelous as we could and in the immortal words of Billy Crystal, "When you look Mahvelous, you feel mahvelous." So this is about my journey back toward fabulousity, finding fashion and ideas that work for me. If I inspire a few people along the way, awesome.

So, on this day of great change and upheaval in the life of my couch and rear end, I have decided to embrace the new. In honour of that I'm going to introduce into my fashion repertoire something that is on trend, that I see pinned all over the fashion boards on Pinterest, and that I have seen very few women of my age and, erm, stature, wearing: The Skinny Jean.

A clothing item I would not have, in a million years - no make that a trillion - ever considered wearing. But that was the old me. The one in a rut who said things like "I feel invisible," while she ate pie. The new me sits on couches with new grooves and says "To HELL with that!"

And verily, I have purchased a skinny jean. But here's the thing. When you want to freshen up your wardrobe by adding clothes that are on trend, when you reach a certain age (and by that I mean anyone over the age 22), you want to balance out the trend with other more classic elements. Second, and this is so important I want you to indelibly etch it into your brains - you HAVE to wear the right shoe. And by shoe, I mean pump, or boot - not a sneaker, cheap flat, or running shoe. People, I feel very strongly about this. Running shoes, by law, should never be worn anywhere outside of a gym.

Let me show you.

I've put together a few looks featuring the skinny jean to demonstrate how someone like me can go from a Fashion No to a Fashion Yes in a matter of minutes simply by pairing said jeans with the right shoes and looks.In the process, you will see first hand how the fashion choices we make can either add or detract weight!

Let's begin at the beginning with a fashion faux pas I see many women of my age (and size) making: Teaming up tights or skinny pants with an over-sized shirt and a pair of flats. While this look may have looked good on Gidget once upon a time, it does not work on most women (unless you are 5'11 and weigh less than 120 pounds). Even then, it's questionable.

Case in point...

Fashion No

Okay, so let's take little time to improve the look. Start by opening the shirt to make it into a jacket, add a belt to give some definition to the body and lose the ugly flat shoes, replacing them with a flat boot.

Fashion getting there...

We now have a definite improvement - but we're not there yet. Sure, this outfit would be okay for, say, mowing the lawn - but do you really want to bump into your first love from high school at the grocery store wearing this?

I didn't think so.

Next look...

Fashion better...

Do you see it slowly getting better? First, I removed the denim shirt - and let me just say, it looked a whole lot better in my mirror than it did in the reality of a picture so take the time to get pictures of what you wear! You might be very surprised by what you discover..

I kept the belt for definition as I'm an apple shape and really benefit from the illusion of a waist. Next I added an elongating drapey black sweater and a universal scarf to keep the look casual - you know, for that trip to the grocery store!

I'd be okay meeting up with people from my past in this...

However, I still think I can do better.

Remember what I said about shoes? Well it has never been more important than it is with the skinny jean. Pretty much, if you have the nerve a rock a pair out, I want you to go all in with it and pair the jeans with a pair of awesome heels or boots - making sure to avoid anything clunky or shoes with a rounded or square toe. You want that elegant point because it does amazing things for the legs - as does the height you'll get from wearing a heel. 

People, there is a reason Carrie Bradshaw loves her Manolos.

Fashion Awesome

Let's recap...
                                                                     

From Don't

 

To Do!

And that, my friends, is what they call a wrap! I'll be having more fun with fashion in the weeks and months ahead because, as a girly gal at heart, I am reaffirmed by the belief that Fabulous is as Fabulous does!

Now go out and make some noise!! The world needs to hear from you.

And then dish! Do you like change? Got any fashion faux pas to share with the group? Go for it sisters - you are among friends :-)

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  Author:

Lyndsay Wells is a professional trainer, writer, and program developer with a passion for food and cooking. She is an award winning recipe developer, and a website ambassador for Kraft Foods Canada. Lyndsay believes cooking should be approachable and easy and has great tips and ideas for putting together sophisticated looking dishes that cooks of all levels can accomplish.

Visit her on her blogs, The Kitchen Witch, and Just. That. Fabulous. or on her YouTube Channel, CHARMED With The Kitchen Witch.

  

Beauty From the Inside Out

Has this ever happened to you? You show someone a picture of yourself from when you were younger (or thinner ), or both - and instead of commenting about how cute or pretty you were, the person says things like "I can't believe that's you!" or "I would have NEVER recognized you!!!"

What does one say in response? Thank you?

I know I look different now as the middle aged version of myself; I get that. But the thing is - despite having hair that needs Clairol's root touch up once every three weeks and a new found understanding of why a person would get Botox - underneath it all, remains a 16 year old girl who still wants to be seen as pretty.

I hope I'm not letting any cats out of the bag by revealing this. That despite our age, most women want to be viewed as desirable; but at this stage in the game, we long for this desirability to be on our own terms. In much the same way men are seen as distinguished with a little grey hair, I believe women would like to be seen as attractive based on an entire package: our confidence, our accomplishments, our hearts, our humour - attributes that might not reveal themselves at first glance, but that inform every aspect of what it is to be beautiful once you get to know a person.

I think this is something we must remind ourselves of daily: the reality of beauty coming from the inside out. Just because some women's magazine is selling you the latest diet, wrinkle cream, or age defying potion doesn't mean you can't fight back and feel better about yourself in the process. Although there exists a universal standard of beauty in our youth obsessed culture, let's take the time to remind ourselves that very few people actually ever meet that standard - further to that, it is not something anyone is going to be able to hold onto. Eventually time is going to catch up with the Botox and when that day happens my wish is that every woman is able to see herself as worthy.

When I look back at pictures of myself now and see that pretty girl with the wanna be Farah flipped back hair, I can see that so much is missing. The girl in the pictures had not yet driven across Canada on her own, danced on top of a bar in New Orleans, raised a son, maintained a marriage, ran a half marathon, appeared on a TV show or won $20,000.00 for making the best damned pork tenderloin in Canada! That girl, though pretty, was not half the woman I eventually became. Which tells me that in 20 years when someone sees a picture of me now, it shouldn't come as a surprise when they say "I can't believe that's you!"

Because it won't be.

The me of 20 years from now will be more confident, and more assured. She will have overcome obstacles and survived losses. She will have experienced challenges, and adventures, and through it all if I play my cards right, she will have done so with an unwavering belief in herself and the steadfast knowledge that desirability and beauty are less about wrinkles, and more about the experiences that have put them there. 

Weigh in...

Do you relate to this? Are there things you do to combat inner negativity? What things make you beautiful from the inside out?
 
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  Author:

Lyndsay Wells is a professional trainer, writer, and program developer with a passion for food and cooking. She is an award winning recipe developer, and a website ambassador for Kraft Foods Canada. Lyndsay believes cooking should be approachable and easy and has great tips and ideas for putting together sophisticated looking dishes that cooks of all levels can accomplish.

Visit her on her blogs, The Kitchen Witch, and Just. That. Fabulous. or on her YouTube Channel, CHARMED With The Kitchen Witch.

  

Have You Ever Felt Invisible?

I'm 47 years old, 20 pounds away from my optimal weight (if I were the heavy weight champion of the world), and in dire need of  some kind of a "What Not to Wear" fashion intervention from Stacey and Clinton. A dynamic duo who in a strangely metaphorical way are not unlike me - or at least the way I've been feeling lately - and that is: CANCELLED.

Don't get me wrong because I don't mean that literally - and yes, those who love me will remind me of all the good that exists in the world merely because I'm in it; thank you very much by the way - but what I mean by feeling cancelled isn't so much about me or who I am on the inside, but more about the perception people have about me based completely on what's on the outside and how that perception is shifting as I get older.

I've been blogging about my life in one way or another since my fingers first came into contact with a keyboard. As such, I'm blessed with a chronicle of my son's life from inception to the day he left for university. When he was growing up there was so much to write about - and not just him, my husband, our pets, my parents, even our neighbours - no one was exempt from making an appearance in one of my blogs if they did something funny, or touching, or human because, at heart, that is who I am: a Noticer. I notice things and I like to write about them.

But when my son walked out the door, duffel bag in hand off to conquer the world, something inside me changed. Call it grief, call it loss, call if whatever you like, when he left home that day a tiny door in my heart softly closed and I realized I had just completed something that I could never have back. With that realization, somehow I lost my funny. I stopped noticing. I stopped writing.

That was five years ago. I was 42 years old and could still pass as someone in her 30's. At the time, I didn't see this as something significant and would have argued with anyone that age is just a number. My career was in full swing, and I began to work on chasing new dreams - this time in the cooking world. I gave up blogging about my personal life in exchange for entering cooking contests and coming up with recipes. Where I had once identified myself as being Just. That. Fabulous. I was now exploring the intricacies of souffle and advising others on the best ways to grill meat - all the while feeling good about myself and my place in the world.

But sometime between then and now, a shift began to occur; the odd soreness in a joint, the need to hold a book at arms length just to read the fine print, the first time I noticed the line by the corner of my mouth deepening. I am getting older. And though I still believe that age is a state of mind not a condition, it's becoming increasingly evident the rest of the world might not be on the same page because in many ways, I feel like I'm becoming invisible.

Like who I am on the inside is no longer adequately reflected on the outside. Take my photo for example. Anyone who knows me understands that if you look at that and only see a nice looking middle aged lady, or worse, a respectable one - you have not really seen me at all. And that's what happens. It's not unusual for women when they reach a certain to age to be overlooked regardless of how interesting, intelligent, or kick ass she might be, unless she has successfully managed to cheat time.

What does society view as the ultimate compliment? "You look so young."

pfffffft.

As though looking young somehow makes a woman more interesting. You know, in the same way being thin makes people better human beings.

However, I will acknowledge, my smiling demeanor and well coordinated outfit doesn't exactly scream "kick ass woman" either.  And I am, kick ass that is - just ask my husband - I've been kicking his on and off for over 22 years. 

The gist is this: just because I'm closing in on 50 and prefer my jeans come with an elasticized waist band does not mean I don't know what you're talking about when you refer to 4:20, and - for the record - "Talk Dirty to Me" would so be my jam if it was still acceptable for me to go to a club and lay it down. And don't even try to tell me that would be an okay thing anywhere else but at my grandmother's nursing home - the one place where I have it on good authority I am still considered hot.

Stay tuned in the days and months ahead as I share my observations about growing older, kicking ass in stretch jeans, and re-discovering who I am and who I'm going to become in the second half of my life.

If you want to come along for the ride, be sure to subscribe!

And then tell me, have you ever felt invisible?

Okay, now it's time to get dancin!




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Author:

Lyndsay Wells is a professional trainer, writer, and program developer with a passion for food and cooking. She is an award winning recipe developer, and a website ambassador for Kraft Foods Canada. Lyndsay believes cooking should be approachable and easy and has great tips and ideas for putting together sophisticated looking dishes that cooks of all levels can accomplish.

Visit her on her blogs, The Kitchen Witch, and Just. That. Fabulous. or on her YouTube Channel, CHARMED With The Kitchen Witch.